A Better Way to Talk to Yourself

Some mornings, your brain wakes up before you do—and not in a helpful way. That’s where affirmations for real life can make a difference.

It starts listing everything you haven’t done yet. Or reminds you of that one thing you said weirdly three days ago. Or just jumps straight to: You’re already behind.

That voice? It’s annoying. But it’s also trainable.

Why I Started Using Affirmations

If you’ve ever thought affirmations sound fake, same. I used to feel ridiculous saying things like I am powerful while I was barely holding it together.

But once I understood how affirmations actually work—not as magical mantras, but as small mental reroutes—I started paying attention.

This is where neuroplasticity comes in.

Your brain is constantly rewiring itself based on repeated thoughts. So when you think I’ll never figure this out often enough, your brain starts building that as a shortcut.

But when you say something like I’m figuring it out one step at a time? You build a different path. A better one.

It’s not about lying to yourself. It’s about interrupting the thoughts that aren’t helping and replacing them with something that gives you a little space to breathe.

What the Research Says

Repeating affirmations lights up the prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain that handles problem-solving and self-reflection. Basically, affirmations help you become less reactive and more resilient.

They also activate parts of the brain linked to self-worth and stress regulation. So when you say I can handle this, your brain goes, Okay. Let’s try.

And no, it won’t fix your whole life. But it will help you meet it with a little more strength.

How to Make Affirmations Work for You

Affirmations flop when they’re too far from your current reality.

If you’re broke and spiraling, “I am wealthy beyond belief” isn’t going to do much. But I’m learning how to manage what I have? That lands.

Here’s how to make affirmations actually work:

1. Say What You Need to Hear

Tailor it to your mental state.

Overwhelmed? I can handle what’s in front of me.
Doubting yourself? I trust myself to take the next step.
Burnt out? I deserve rest, not guilt.

2. Speak It Like You Mean It

Even if it feels weird, say it out loud. Your brain listens differently.

Write it on a sticky note.
Set it as a phone reminder.
Put it somewhere you’re already looking (planner, mirror, dashboard).

3. Tie It to a Habit

You don’t need a new ritual. Use the ones you already have.

Say it while brushing your teeth.
Whisper it in your head during your commute.
Repeat it while you wait for your coffee to brew.

4. Keep It Present Tense and Grounded

Your brain responds best to what it hears now.

Instead of I won’t fail, try I’m capable and prepared.
Instead of I wish I were confident, try I’m learning to trust myself.

Try One Right Now

Want to pair this with a routine that doesn’t require energy you don’t have? Try this 15-minute morning routine designed for tired brains.

Say it quietly. Say it with your eyes half open. Say it mid-scroll.

I’m doing the best I can with what I have today.

You don’t have to believe it 100% yet. Just enough to shift out of the spiral.

Looking for the science? This article from Psychology Today offers more on how self-talk influences your mental state.